Pee Rules

So today, I entered the TV-version of the “good neighbor” and headed to the men’s room to take care of “business.” The room has 3 toilets and 3 urinals, and was busier than normal, with two men standing at two urinals. Of the three urinals, two of them are positioned for an adult, while the third is for a boy and positioned about a foot lower.

So I got to thinking, should I go to the boy spot? I mean, I wasn’t going to wait to for an adult one to open up, nor go into a toilet just to make splashing sounds. So, I did it, but felt like I was back in Mrs. Myles’ first grade class. (Which, by the way, was the year that I saw two classmates engage in a pee fight). Both were suspended.

I have always hated the little boy spot and avoided it like the plague for years. But then later today, I walked in there again and found a co-worker already standing there – with NOBODY else in the bathroom.

Is it just me, or is this weird? Do pedophiles love that spot? Aren’t I a big boy now? Should I feel bad about using that spot? Am I just over thinking this one? Should I just pee already?

If you’re a girl, I’m not expecting you to understand. There are many inherent peeing tics in my brain. Do I pick the middle one, the left one, the right one, in the corner? Too many decisions if you ask me.